Stuff I Can’t Explain to You

Every now and then and later you may come across something in one of my posts that makes you stop and think, “What authority does Cliff have over this topic?  How does he know anything about this issue?  Where’s the proof?”  When you come to this place, here’s what I want you to think:

The first point I would like you to consider is: are the words coming out of Cliffs fingers, through the keyboard and into my eyes causing me any immediate harm?  Most of the time, the answer is going to be no.  Now then, who could not believe something that causes them no immediate harm?

Secondly, do you not believe the words I am sharing with you because you selfishly disagree with them (and by association, me)?  If this is the case, then let me explain your faulty logic through the following short story.  This excerpt from my mind has gotten me through many difficult times and always helps me put things into perspective.

One day, Kari was walking down the street when she heard a loud ruckus up ahead.  As she came closer, she noticed the source of the hubbub was an unruly cat committing arson.  Pausing only for a second to comprehend the peculiarity of the situation, Kari quickly jumped into action—this was not her first run in with a brash cat!  She quickly began hurling obscenities at the feline.  “You smell, you dirty cat!” Kari yelled.  “I hate you!” Kari cried.  Kari’s harsh remarks only worked to bring about more anger in Todd the cat.  Todd quickly drained the remaining gasoline onto the building and drew a match from his quiver.  “You’ll never get away with this,” Kari warned!  “Yes he will!” exclaimed Todd’s partner in crime, Mark the mailman.  Then, with unstoppable force—much like aids—Todd and Mark lit the match and set the defenseless, unsuspecting building ablaze!

Was Kari right in thinking that Todd was a smelly, dirty cat?  Yes.  Was Kari right in thinking that Todd and Mark would never get away with lighting the building on fire? No.  It just goes to show you: you can never be too sure about anything.

Lastly, are you disagreeing with me because I am authentically wrong?  If you think this is the case, I want you to:

1. Check your facts
2. Check them again
3. Reevaluate your opinion of truth

Of course, it is feasible that I may genuinely be wrong.  But for the sake of wizards and gumdrops, let’s just not even discuss that possibility, okay?

Callous Mark

Ruthless Todd