Brain Repair for Dummies

What’s with all the fuss over “my brain is broken,” and “help me trick my brain into thinking I’m not gay anymore?"

If you are thinking these things and want help in trying to master your brain, follow these simple steps.  I promise you (don’t hold me to it), you won’t regret it.

• Buy a slap chop.  Use it.
• Eat a minimum of 3 minutes before you go swimming. Every time
• Tell every woman you encounter that she has nice bone structure. For the purpose of this exercise, pretend Rosie O’Donnell is a woman.

If you are diligent to keep these simple steps and are extremely lucky, you too can be healed from most of your afflictions.

It’s like the lepers say, “When life hands you lemons, saw off your thumb.”