New Proverbs of Old

Just because you are not Chinese doesn't mean you have no wisdom to offer the world.  Being a non-Chinese descendant does mean that you are going to have to work a little bit harder.  The reason is explained using simple ergonomics: there are more Chinese people than any other single race, thus the market (wise proverbs market) is flooded.  They have quantity -- you must submit quality.  The trick to writing a new proverb is to make sure it is funny; people will obey it if it is funny it if it if it if.  Take these, for example:

• The tough get going, sometimes
• My camel has 2 humps, 2 humps, my lovely lady lumps
• Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground
• My boys bring all the milkshakes to the yard
• Great minds think like babies
• Life is a box of babies... you never know when you're gonna have to change a diaper
• You don't know me (no pun intended)
• The apple never falls off of the tree
• An apple a day builds strong bones
• I was born in a tree
• Don't play with guns -- you'll poke your eye out
• Beef -- eat it for brunch, or don't
• Maybe there is such a thing as a free lunch?  Half-price?
• Don't mess with the horns before you mess with the bull, or if you're allergic to horns
• Sample problems are good for the soul
• Better safe and sorry
• The glass is only 1/3 full
• A bird in a bush is worth two trees in the hand
• Birds with feathers a flock of geese
• The calm storm comes before
• The weakest chain is stronger than the link between two forgotten chains
• Bring a knife to the potato fight
• Don't cook all your friend's eggs in one basket
• Every crowd has a silver lining, but some crowds don't
• The grass is sometimes brown on one side; always
• If life gives you lemons, twitter it
• Sinking ships probably have chapped lips
• Friends don't let co-workers eat and drive
• Serious as a horse attack
• Don't talk to strangers that you don't know
• An eye for a tooth and a tooth for a tooth
• If at first you don't succeed, beat them, and beat them again.  And then join them
• Time flies when you're having guns
• The more we know, the less we know
• Desperate times call for mullets
• Old friends are a dime a dozen (if you live in a nursing home)
• I can't believe it's not butt
• What goes around in a circle comes around
• Up a creek with out a saddle.  You can't do anything these days with out a saddle
• Easy come, easy diarrhea
• A bird in the bush in the birds in the bees in the beard
• It's raining cats and Chinese people
• The more you know, afro
• Kill two birds with one stone
• Get rich or crap crying

I could go on like this forever, but you get the idea...
Get some wisdom in your diet!

On second thought, I think I will go on like this forever.  I'm going to keep updating this post as more wisdom comes to me.  This post will knock your pants off with all the wisdom in it!