Desperate Times Call For Mullets

It's like they say: "The workplace is no place for a child." Well, the same is true for mullets -- unless it's bring your mullet to work day -- then it is okay for mullets to be in the workplace.  The workplace has a general policy of "Don't you be bringing that stank up in here" that we should all adhere to.  In this context "stank" could be defined as: the stank eye, the stanky leg, or a mullet.

Though they are frowned on in the workplace, there are numerous other venues where mullets are accepted.  If you're looking for a good mullet, just head down to the nearest flea market.  You're sure to see a mullet or two there!  If your mullet appetite has not been satisfied, take a trip to a tractor pull, or the county fair.  If you still haven't seen a mullet, check out any southern rock concert.

In fact, hundreds of years ago, back before genres of music even existed, a southern rock concert used to be called a 'mullets galore concert.'  Every Friday night, the townspeople would walk to the amphitheater to attend the mullets galore concert, where they listened and danced to "Sweet Home Alabama."  Old friends would reconnect and share the latest news about their mullets.  Much like a good wisdom teeth story, mullets were used to bring people together.  Times were good back then; the people knew how to look good under a piece of hair.

I think I speak for everyone when I say we are left in despair now that the mullet is no longer accepted in our common culture.  A few brave individuals have tried to bring the mullet and its ways back to the public, but they were more or less tortured for it.  I, however, deeply respect these individuals.  They stood up for what they believed in -- mullet power -- and achieved their goals.  Among the individuals whom command my respect, are:

• Neil Armstrong
• Paul Bunyan
• Paul Bunyan's Ox, Babe (he also had a mullet)
• Jason Statham (star in the transporter trilogy)

What do these American heroes have in common?  You guessed it -- the mullet.  So here's a challenge: do you want to be a hero so that you will be respected by your peers and the ladies?  If so, I think you know what to do.

Other good places to see a mullet:

American Hero

• Nascar Race
• WWE Events
• Monster Truck Rally
• Styx Concert
• Demolition Derby
• Kmart
• On a Harley Davidson
• DMV
• State Fair