Snowmen attacks are never a good thing. One time Anthony and I were hanging out at UK, minding our own business when all of a sudden, a giant snowball (a piece of a snowman, no doubt) rolls into our dorm and tries to melt it's evil layers all over the floor. At this point the R.A. steps in and is all, "Hey, you goofy kids, get that 25 foot diameter snowball outta here!"
You see, Anthony and I got called "goofy;" snowmen are no good. Imagine the colorful language that would have been let out if the rest of the snowman had showed up to our abode; it would not have been a pleasant experience. And this is not the only reason we should do something about these diabolical creatures. Another reason snowmen should not be allowed in places of residence: have you ever seen a yellow colored snowman? That's not lemonade in the snow. :/
But seriously, there's an old saying: "Hell has no fury like a snowman scorned." Snowmen are fiendish beings. Here's a good story to tell your little children right before bed:
Little Johnny, an innocent eight year old child, was walking down a dark and desolate road one night. He was in a good mood because his uncle Gleb had finally stopped beating him. So he was singing songs about how he was one day going to rebuild his relationship with his uncle. Johnny was glad -- for once in his life, things were not so gloomy. But little did Johnny know, there was an evil being lurking in the shadows, waiting for his chance to purge all joy from Johnny's heart.
As Johnny was rounding the bend, the evil snowman swung a baseball bat right at his face! Luckily, he missed -- and then Johnny leaped into action. He pulled out his ninja stars and chucked them right at the snowman's carrot nose! Direct hit! Then the snowman started shooting buttons from his chest at Johnny. Johnny was skilled in the art of dodging flying buttons, but he was no match for the snowman's fury or accuracy. One of the buttons his Johnny in the butt. Johnny was so embarrassed he surrendered right then!
The snowman had won the battle and so began his victory dance. But when the snowman turned his back, Johnny jumped up and pierced a rod that had been heated to 1,000,000 degrees Celsius right through the snowman's heart! Then the snowman threw a tire at Johnny. Then Johnny threw a full-size WWII army truck at the snowman. Then the snowman threw a Super Nova at Johnny. Then Johnny threw Neptune at the snowman. The battle never ended. To this day there is still no victor.
The End
